counseling

A Guide to Letting Go

You have identified an ending or loss, now what?

I wish I could say there were 5 easy steps but that would trivialize your loss.

There is a process to go through that may ease the process.

First, give yourself time and space to feel what you are feeling. Sadness, anger, frustration or ambivalence- all are allowed as you let go of something or someone. This means having compassion and patience with yourself when you think you should be “getting over it faster”.

Acknowledge the positives in what you are letting go of- even with an addiction or other self-hurtful pattern it worked for a reason…it gave you relief or distraction.  What did you give you? What have you learned? As you acknowledge the aspects you will miss, you are clearing the way to think about what you need now to support yourself during this change.

Create a ritual or process to honor what you are letting go of.  A letter to the person or substance lost, a tree you plant in their honor, something active that uses the whole self- your feelings, thoughts, and body.  This integrates the many ways that grief inhabits our person.  If possible, share this with a close friend or therapist so you have a witness and support.

Identify what you need to put into your life to support you.  Is it comfort and guidance from others, time for prayer or meditation, physical exercise?  Professional help and a support group can make the difference between staying stuck and gently moving through the stages of grief.

Begin to think of what is possible.  Not nirvana but, what is possible for you now with the new reality of your life?  As painful as it is, what may emerge as growth, new awareness or a direction for you in the next months?  This is when we know we are coming out of the darkness…when we begin to have hope for the future.

As you go through this cycle of death and loss to new life, know that you are witnessing the truth of what it means to be human and that there others who are willing to walk this journey with you. I am one.

 

Also, check out my counseling website: www.ascendcounselingPA.com.

Vacation Means Better Business!

vacation take it

Vacation Means Better Business!

The sound of birds early in the morning, long warm nights and the smell of food on the grill can only mean one thing; it’s summer time!  Remember how relaxing summer used to be? Remember when you used to take vacation? Have you thought about taking some time off this summer? As a leader, you’re probably asking yourself, “With all that’s going on in business, how can I find time for vacation?” Well, actually you can’t not take time off!

Americans take less time off than any developed nation in the world (working 9 weeks longer per year) and they have the highest rate of depression.  According to one World Health Organization & Harvard study, overwork is correlated with obesity, heart disease, insomnia and fatigue. We are the only industrialized nation without mandatory paid leave. “Great in theory”, you say, “but we need to get work done, we can’t afford to take time off!” In fact, research shows that more work does not correlate with more or better output! It often costs more in mistakes and accidents in the workplace.  The lack of time off costs companies in absenteeism, turnover and rising health costs.   We know that when we have too many computer programs running at once they can get hung up so we power off, wait a bit and reboot the system.  Humans, too, need to regularly power off and re boot our “computer” so it works better.

Productivity Worry

Worried about deadlines missed or mistakes that might occur in your absence? Taking a vacation can actually be empowering for your team!  When you delegate and give others authority to act it builds their confidence and forces them to take on expanded responsibilities and new tasks.  Morale is boosted when a company honors the need for time off and life balance.   This increased employee engagement more than makes up for time spent on vacation.

We only have so much time and energy to expend in our daily lives.  No one ever got to their deathbed and wished they’d worked more!  While it can seem difficult to start taking time off, the benefits of doing so (less stress, less anxiety, calmer attitude, etc.) will result in more productivity and innovation.   You may even have time for family, friends and community involvement- all those things that make for the balanced life you thought you had no time for!   Make yourself a priority and take care of you.  Your business will be the better for it.

March PowerPoints

The wait is over! March PowerPoints is here and chalk full of exciting information. March is Social Work Month. Read our March PowerPoints to learn a little more about this exciting and important field. Happy reading!

March Power Points