West Chester Therapy

March/April 2018 PowerPoints

The newest addition of PowerPoints is out!  Take some time for you to read my latest blog excerpt, upcoming events and more about my practice. Make Spring 2018 the start of a new beginning for you and  your life. A fitting quote from Buddha, “What we think, we become.”

Have a great spring and I hope to see you at my upcoming Mindfulness Meditation Group starting April 11th.

March/April 2018 PowerPoints

PowerPoints strategies for growth.

You have reached your growth potential.

A Guide to Letting Go

You have identified an ending or loss, now what?

I wish I could say there were 5 easy steps but that would trivialize your loss.

There is a process to go through that may ease the process.

First, give yourself time and space to feel what you are feeling. Sadness, anger, frustration or ambivalence- all are allowed as you let go of something or someone. This means having compassion and patience with yourself when you think you should be “getting over it faster”.

Acknowledge the positives in what you are letting go of- even with an addiction or other self-hurtful pattern it worked for a reason…it gave you relief or distraction.  What did you give you? What have you learned? As you acknowledge the aspects you will miss, you are clearing the way to think about what you need now to support yourself during this change.

Create a ritual or process to honor what you are letting go of.  A letter to the person or substance lost, a tree you plant in their honor, something active that uses the whole self- your feelings, thoughts, and body.  This integrates the many ways that grief inhabits our person.  If possible, share this with a close friend or therapist so you have a witness and support.

Identify what you need to put into your life to support you.  Is it comfort and guidance from others, time for prayer or meditation, physical exercise?  Professional help and a support group can make the difference between staying stuck and gently moving through the stages of grief.

Begin to think of what is possible.  Not nirvana but, what is possible for you now with the new reality of your life?  As painful as it is, what may emerge as growth, new awareness or a direction for you in the next months?  This is when we know we are coming out of the darkness…when we begin to have hope for the future.

As you go through this cycle of death and loss to new life, know that you are witnessing the truth of what it means to be human and that there others who are willing to walk this journey with you. I am one.

 

Also, check out my counseling website: www.ascendcounselingPA.com.

Celebrate Endings to Open Space for Beginnings

It’s a new year, which means many of us are setting goals and making plans for new beginnings in 2018. There is talk everywhere about New Year’s Resolutions and making a fresh start. All good stuff!

Where will we find room for newness: the new thoughts, behaviors, emotions and spiritual renewal, if we don’t first consider what we need and (hopefully) are ready to let go of?

The goodbyes, the endings; the losses are harder for us to willingly embrace and yet, these are a necessary part to the cycle of change. When you think about it, a new beginning really can’t occur without the ending of something else. In the Christian tradition, this is represented by the parable of the seed that must fall to the ground before new life can spring up. Conversion or a dying to one way of living, one “path”, is necessary before we can turn to embark on another. For those who practice Mindfulness Meditation, there is an invitation to turn from grasping at or rejecting parts of life as good or bad. Instead, we turn toward accepting all that is occurring in one’s life simply because it is occurring. Those who have suffered loss of a marriage or through a loved one’s death, must accept that reality before they can begin to start a new life. This turning from and letting go is a painful necessity before new life can begin.

So, as you think about your New Year’s Resolution, I encourage you to think about what you will let go of to clear space for your new goal. Go beyond identifying obstacles that might hamper you from achieving your goal. What ending is actually a part of the new beginning you are wanting to bring to fruition in 2018? Is there a habit you need to say goodbye to and even mourn the loss of? Is there a job or relationship that you have outgrown and need to release before you can find the job or relationship that will help you grow?
Welcome this process of letting go as a prerequisite step to beginning your new path. Beginning with “clearing the brush”, busyness and anxiety before you can till the soil and begin planting. If you do, you will find that new life begins to emerge.

I specialize in coaching people in the learning to let go of what is holding them back. Contact me if you’d like to begin the conversation. Marjorie@ascendconsutling.net