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You have identified an ending or loss, now what?<\/p>\nYou have identified an ending or loss, now what?<\/p>\n
I wish I could say there were 5 easy steps but that would trivialize your loss.<\/p>\n
There is<\/em> a process to go through that may ease the process.<\/p>\n First,<\/em> give yourself time and space to feel<\/em> what you are feeling. Sadness, anger, frustration or ambivalence- all are allowed as you let go of something or someone. This means having compassion and patience with yourself when you think you should be \u201cgetting over it faster\u201d.<\/p>\n Acknowledge <\/em>the positives in what you are letting go of- even with an addiction or other self-hurtful pattern it worked for a reason\u2026it gave you relief or distraction.\u00a0 What did you give you? What have you learned? As you acknowledge the aspects you will miss, you are clearing the way to think about what you need now to support yourself during this change.<\/p>\n Create a ritual<\/em> or process to honor what you are letting go of.\u00a0 A letter to the person or substance lost, a tree you plant in their honor, something active that uses the whole self- your feelings, thoughts, and body.\u00a0 This integrates the many ways that grief inhabits our person.\u00a0 If possible, share this with a close friend or therapist so you have a witness and support.<\/p>\n Identify what you need<\/em> to put into your life to support you.\u00a0 Is it comfort and guidance from others, time for prayer or meditation, physical exercise?\u00a0 Professional help and a support group can make the difference between staying stuck and gently moving through the stages of grief.<\/p>\n Begin to think of what is possible<\/em>.\u00a0 Not nirvana but, what is possible for you now with the new reality of your life?\u00a0 As painful as it is, what may emerge<\/em> as growth, new awareness or a direction for you in the next months?\u00a0 This is when we know we are coming out of the darkness\u2026when we begin to have hope for the future.<\/p>\n As you go through this cycle of death and loss to new life, know that you are witnessing the truth of what it means to be human and that there others who are willing to walk this journey with you. I am one.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n